Two Marital Extremes
Pondering the post-Valentine blues, here is a view of two opposite sides of culture that would have very difficult time cohabiting, so to speak. In Pakistan a mob of enraged men (there seem a lot of them in that part of the world) stormed a police station, beating and shooting to death a young couple. The leaders of this mob were members of the female side of the couple, led by her own father, and as the article relates, the 18 year old woman was shot multiple times by her own brother with an AK-47. No one seems to known how many times. Their, or rather, her ‘crime’? She was trying to escape an ‘arranged’ marriage, desiring to marry, and get this, someone she actually loved. I suppose the honour-killing murderous lynch mob thought she would learn to love the man foisted upon her, but she, and likely rightly, thought otherwise.
Ah, Islam, what is thy true nature? Can so-called ‘moderate’ Islam ever succeed against such irrational hordes, when the very religion itself has historically disdained reason, reyling upon the oft-irrational ‘will of Allah’? And here we are in Canada, about to vote on a motion condemning the ill-defined and irrational concept of ‘Islamophobia’, which might include any criticism of such quaint notions as coerced marriage. See my article of yesterday.
On the other side of the marital spectrum from the recently deceased couple (requiescant in pace), we have the apparently-ever-youthful Scarlett Johanssen, a scandalous woman in any objective sense of that term, a veritable coquette who, after her second divorce, has now declared herself done, over, finished with mongamy. Oh, she still gives it admiration, but from afar, but that’s now as far as it goes. Here is the romantic wisdom of the world-weary Johanssen:
“Well, with every gain there’s a loss, right? So that’s a loss. You have to choose a path,” she said. “I think the idea of marriage is very romantic; it’s a beautiful idea, and the practice of it can be a very beautiful thing. I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person. I might be skewered for that, but I think it’s work. It’s a lot of work.
“And the fact that it is such work for so many people — for everyone — the fact of that proves that it is not a natural thing. It’s something I have a lot of respect for and have participated in, but I think it definitely goes against some instinct to look beyond.”
“Being married is different than not being married, and anybody who tells you that it’s the same is lying. It changes things,” she continued. “I have friends who were together for 10 years and then decided to get married, and I’ll ask them on their wedding day or right after if it’s different, and it always is. It is.”
Ah well. So let me get this straight: Monogamy and marriage are work, they involve sacrifice, therefore, they are not natural. Hmm. That would disqualify almost all professors, athletes, inventors, musicians, authors, mothers and fathers who have raised children through the ages against incredible odds, and, yes, even some actors, at least those who work at their craft.
And marriage being different? Well, of course it is, for it implies fidelity, indissolubilty and an openness to children, providing an environment for them to grown and flourish. I wonder, pace her own words, if Ms. Johanssen has ever really been ‘married’, for has she ever really intended life-long fidelity and indissolubility?
The thing is, Scarlett, even though you won the genetic lottery, so to speak, and, for some reason I personally find difficult to discern, people value your acting, with most of your millions made off the ridiculous Marvel character of the Black Widow, but even though rich and beautiful, your time will run out. You are lready 32, still young in today’s terms, but eventually even your Swedish allure will turn to wrinkles and puffiness. The ravages of time and entropy come to us all, regardless of how much we may hold it back with exercise, kale and medicine.
Then what? We all have to face what we have done with our lives, all the effects of our words and actions, and the last thing we need in this world is more disdain for romance, monogamy, forever-love, marriage, children, and all the joys and sacrifices thereof. Self-absorption is no way to happiness, nor to societal cohesion and continuity.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.