Deacon Kyle Broderson recently gave a talk during which he asked the men in his audience to consider what they most wanted to be in life. It wasn’t long before the men got around to agreeing that every man wanted to be a man. Perhaps that answer to the question was prompted by the general sense in our culture that manhood is not valued as it once was. The importance of being a man today is paramount. The case could be made that Christianity everywhere in the world is in full retreat, and one of the main reasons is that Christian men have refused to behave like men. Too many Christian men, it seems, have begun to behave as if they believed the old atheist taunt that religion is for women and children.
Think about it. If you really are a Christian, wouldn’t you be expected to know enough about your religion to stand up for it and explain it to someone who knows nothing about it? This is what Christ, a man, spent three years teaching twelve other men to do. In his short life on earth Jesus demonstrated the manly qualities that we were meant to imitate: love, wisdom, courage, and sacrifice. The twelve men he taught these qualities of manhood went forth went forth with their descendants to conquer the Western World with the message of Christ. Today, what Catholic layman could intelligently answer the simple question: “What is the message of Christ?” Or that other haunting question: “Why are you a Catholic?”
King David on his deathbed called his son Solomon to his side, saying, “Take courage and be a man.” (1 Kings 2:2-4) Every father should have said this to his son at one time or another. What fathers today have shown their sons how to be men? Today’s father might tell his son, off the top of his head, the winning statistics for the champion players of football, baseball, and basketball. What father has told his son (book, chapter, and verse) the passage in which Christ himself taught us how to take courage and be a man? (John 15:13)
The young American fathers of World War II learned very soon how to take courage and be a man. If they did not, they were cowards and fled from the battlefield. But many others returned home covered with honor and glory. They were a great generation of heroes who fought tooth and claw one of the worst reigns of evil in the history of the world. To their grandchildren they are but a memory obscured by time and a new culture of death that gnaws relentlessly at the human spirit. Today we might hear an indulgent and politically correct father say to his son, “How can I serve you?” rather than, “Take courage and be a man.”
How can a father tell his son to take courage and be a man if he has not done so himself? A son watches his father drop merely five dollars in the Sunday collection plate. Did that take courage? A father never prays in private with his son. Does that take courage? A father refuses to read a religious book with his son. Does that take courage? Do all these things take more courage than the father can summon in the presence of his son? How can a son take courage and be a man if the father has not done so himself as a shining example for his son?
It is said that bravery is not the absence of fear, but rather the control of fear. If a father would help his son control his fears, the father has to show the son that he is himself not afraid to be a father, nor afraid to be a man. And if the sins of the father are visited upon his children, and his children’s children, what a great thing to fear in this life: that we have not had the courage to stand up for those we have brought into the world. “No greater love has a man than this: that he lay down his life for a friend.”
If a father will not give his life to his son, and will not deliberately and thoughtfully show his son how to be a man, the father himself must be truly a sad and friendless man … and even more sad and friendless might be his son.