The perfect relationship

    Anybody heard of Pinterest? If you haven’t, count your lucky stars because you’ve just “gained” back hours and hours of time to waste on something else. Pinterest is a virtual “ideas” cork-board—a place where anyone and everyone can put up a picture, post an idea or website, or browse and gather ideas for things like wedding stationary, recipes, Halloween costumes, or nailpolish tips and tricks. Occasionally I will come across some fascinating cultural tells, and this morning was one of those lucky mornings. I came across a pin called “The Perfect Relationship.” (Warning: content. The pin.)

    It seems to me like this author is talking about roommates. With benefits. Yeah. Roommates who have sex. And play mini-golf and watch illegally downloaded movies. That’s about the extent of what the perfect relationship is these days. Does anybody else think this is about as shallow as a bathtub full of cold, scummy water? Okay, maybe it’s just me. I read this pin and was left with a feeling of dissatisfaction and boredom. That’s it? That’s all there is to relationships these days? Just coffee, making fun of people, eating, sex, mini-golf and video games? Blah, blah, blah, boring.

    Where’s the real meat? Where’s the real love? Where is that video gamer when his “roommate” is puking her guts out from the flu? And where is the facebook-er when her “roomie” is feeding his porn addiction for hours on end? My question is, do they even care?

    Seems to me they don’t care much past their own interests. Each partner (and I’m afraid to admit this might be a good representation of some relationships out there) is like an island unto himself, who occasionally extends a finger to the outside world or each other. But only if it’s fun and interesting. Otherwise, forget it. Why should I put myself out there? I’m not getting anything out of it.

    Reminds me of the lyrics of a fairly recent pop song: “I want the girl but not what she’s going through.” Relationships these days aren’t about sticking around for the mess and crap of life, for housework or problems or anger or sickness. It’s about one thing. F. U. N. Just check out some of the wedding vows that people make up these days. They’re ridiculous. “I’ll love you until I don’t” or “Our boat has brought us together, may it never sink.” What—their love, or the boat? What about “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.” Dang, the Church sure can be romantic sometimes.

    Now, I know this problem is endemic to our culture for various reasons, which I could only go into if I had three lifetimes to study and write about them. But the truth is, when you don’t stick around for the messiness of life, you miss out on THE greatest treasure of your life—a family of people to love you until you die. People who know the true you and accept you with all your faults and love you just the same. Trite, maybe. Cliché, probably. But worth it? Abso-freaking-lutely. So go ahead, be a bachelor all your days. Nobody (usually) gets hurt except you. But don’t be surprised when the Super Mario Brothers don’t speak warmly about you at your funeral or Colonel Sanders doesn’t cater. You’ve made the bed you’re sleeping in.